DOES ANYONE REALLY LIKE ASKING FOR REFERRALS? MY GUESS WOULD BE NO.

Do you enjoy asking for referrals?

My guess would be no, you don’t, and I bet I can guess why.

Asking for referrals is an inherently selfish act. 

The standard ask is something like this…

“Dear Client, who do you know that I could sell some stuff to?”

Or the good ole’ pre-qualified ask…

“Dear Client, Who do you know that fits this criteria that works best for me?”

A client may love you enough that you can overcome it, but can we all agree that it’s pretty awkward.

Virtually every advisor I know became an advisor to “help people.” Myself included. Then they actually became an advisor and were slapped in the face with the culture of salesmanship. 

The most successful advisors found a way to slog through that period of their career and are now getting organic referrals without asking. Because even now, asking for referrals feels selfish and salesy.


Let’s break down why asking for referrals feels so out of alignment. 

1. We are asking clients to give us new people to help us make money.
2. Those prospects will come in and we will interview them to see if they are “good enough” for us.
3. If they aren’t, the prospects will leave feeling rejected. Oops, that’s not fun.
4. If they are “good enough” we are going to switch to pitch mode and try to sell them stuff.

None of this really feels very good for the client, the prospect or us. The client always risks sending you someone who will get rejected. The prospects have to bare their financial souls only to be judged as good enough, or not. And we have to find a way to convince a stranger to trust us and bring all their money for us to manage or the process is a bust. 

So, when I ask you if you enjoy asking for referrals, OF COURSE YOU DON’T!  Only a masochist would really enjoy this process. The rest of us learn to endure it to earn the privilege of “helping people.”

But it doesn’t have to be this way! 

You can flip the entire process on its head and completely change your mindset around asking for referrals. Not through desensitization, aka doing it so much that you get used to the pain, but by evolving your referral process to make it feel good for everyone involved.

Let me show you how to turn GENEROSITY into a business model and transform how you feel about asking for referrals.

The first thing you have to do is transform your initial meeting into something with stand-alone value for the prospect. When you do that, every single person who enters your office leaves better off.

What do I mean by that? The standard process is for an initial meeting to be a fact finding exercise to see if a prospect has enough assets for us to manage or needs for us to fill with insurance etc. Your new process is designed to be of service to the client and help them, whether or not they work with you.

1. If they are a good fit for your practice, it becomes abundantly clear and they are eager to work with you.
 
2. If they aren't a good fit, they leave with actionable insights to begin improving their financial life right away.

How Does This Change Things?

When your initial meeting is truly of service, the prospect is never rejected as “not good enough.” They report back to the client who referred them that they left your meeting ready to improve their financial lives. Some will be doing that with your assistance and won’t, but everyone wins!

The client no longer has to worry about what happens when they refer someone to you. Their friend or family member will always thank them for being referred. There is no risk.

The prospect will think of you as their advisor, whether or not they signed a formal engagement with you. You helped them, no strings attached. And often, this leads to referrals from non-clients who really appreciated meeting with you. 

And most importantly, YOU feel good about asking for referrals. When you have confidence that every prospect who enters your office will feel good leaving your office, you no longer have to feel selfish about asking for referrals. 

Every single person will be better off for having met with you. Some will become clients, some won’t, but everyone wins.

And now, you don’t have to sell anything to get the opportunity to help people. You help people every day, whether they are clients or not.

Do you think you would feel differently about asking for referrals in the scenario I describe? Do you think you would get bolder and more audacious in the marketplace if you knew that you were always helping people?

Ironically, do you think you would feel more aligned in your business AND make more money if generosity were at the core of your business?

Assuming you find this concept interesting, a fair question you should be asking right about now is, “But how do I do this in practice?”

I want to help you change your relationship with prospecting, ditch sales tactics and put generosity and service at the center of your business model!

Ready to turn first meetings into lasting client relationships?

Enroll in this focused, two-month private coaching package designed for financial advisors. In The Discovery EXPERIENCE, you’ll learn how to deliver an emotionally significant initial experience—and get hired for advice by the right clients in just one meeting.

Secure your place today and make your next first meeting a success.

-Lucila