DON'T MAKE YOUR GOALS CONTINGENT UPON YOU BECOMING A BETTER PERSON

I was writing in my journal this morning.  Yes, I journal.  I’m THAT person! I was inventorying how things are going. What am I getting right?  Where am I falling short in my habits?

See the thing is, I might be recovering from a little burn out. I had an incredibly busy fall with travel and work.  Somewhere mid-November my obligations were all met and I came to a screeching halt.  I haven’t wanted to do, well, anything.  

I starting binging Netflix.  A sure sign that I am hiding from the world.  I was drinking a little wine…most nights.  I really do mean a little, a glass or two, but it was almost every night. My sleep routines were all off because I was feeling lazy and it’s so dark outside.  

I’d just kind of become a bumbling mess.  And for a minute, I wasn’t even resisting the slide.  I kind of felt like I needed it.  I needed to be slothful.  I needed to not always be strategic with my time.  

But I don’t ever do slothful for long. I knew I had to work to rebuild my good habits.  

I think I started with exercise.  While I was still being slothful in other areas, I committed to working out every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Since the week before Thanksgiving and now (12/13) I have only missed two days.   

But then, I have made those up via a couple of days with two workouts.  So, I would suggest I am winning in this area.  

Next I approached my daily wine consumption with some trepidation.  Remember, this is generally the month of more, not less.  I just committed to not having wine at home during the week.  So, if I’m at an event, I get a pass.  If it is a weekend, I get a pass. 

The first week or so was tough, but now that the habit is broken I might even extend it to the weekends!  Woot! 

With two small wins under my belt, I turned my attention to my Netflix habit.  I knew when I finished my current series, the binging must stop.  As the 5th season of Poldark came to a close, I closed my iPad.  I committed to reading before bed.  I know, not a particularly novel idea.  

Since then, my Fitbit has been recording record sleep quality and quantity!  Now, I am really on a roll! 

This brings us to the present.  This morning I was taking note of what is going right…a lot!  And where I have yet to build habits supporting my success.  

I have found that I tend to either do a great job getting workouts in or I do a great job spending time in the morning writing for my TIA blog.  I have not yet nailed both simultaneously.  And I can’t be happy, healthy and productive with an either or situation.  

As I was mapping out how I might do both by building a morning routine, I noticed a couple of things.  

-My reality suggests that I need a 1 hour period of time to get up to full speed.  I may find that annoying, but if I don’t honor that truth it just won’t work.  So coffee and breakfast need a full hour. 

-I also know that I can’t do anything productive for The Intentional Advisor on a strict timeline.  I can’t  press go and knock something decent out in 30 minutes.  I need space to contemplate and get inspired.  So, I need another hour here.  

-I can however, get a workout in in 30 minutes.  If I do HIIT on my exercise bike, it only takes 20.  If I do strength training or physical therapy, 30 minutes works if I don’t dilly dally. 

-It used to take me over an hour to get ready because my hair took forever.  I am now down to 45 minutes because I cut my hair! #Winning 

-I get out of bed at 7am.   

So, with those truths in hand, I started outlining my morning schedule.  The first step I took was to commit to getting up at 6:30am and then I built everything I needed in.  

6:30-7:30– Coffee and breakfast 

7:30-8:30–TIA writing time 

8:30-9:00–Exercise 

9:00-10:00–Get ready and go to work 

I was like, that is so doable!  I can get my writing in and my workout in.  I am going to be a winner after all! 

Then I looked at it and realized my fatal mistake.  I am NOT a morning person.  I struggle, especially this time of year, to get up any earlier than 7am. 

My entire plan was contingent on me becoming a better person.  The kind of person that I have consistently failed to become.  

My master plan to solve my perennial problem was doomed before I got started! 

So, I re-wrote my schedule.  I don’t actually have to be at work until 10:30 most mornings.  I went back to the drawing board and moved it all forward 30 mins.   

Now I have a plan that honors who I am and still allows me to reach my goals.  I realized in that moment that we should not make accomplishing our goals contingent upon us becoming better people.   

Along the way, we might indeed become better people, but if we build in our current foibles, we make the plan so much more viable.   

As the days grow longer in the spring, I might finally nail that 6:30am wake-up time. But if I don’t, I can still accomplish my goals! 

With Purpose,

-Lucila

P.S.  Watch my Facebook LIVE video talking about self-acceptance in goal-setting!